Lilly Evans and Severus Snape, Never meant to be
by prelude to the final moment
Summary: this is the story of Severus Snape and Lilly Evans/Potter this is how Snape fell in love with her, and she fell in love with James, how Snape tried to protect her. spoilers for the Deathly Hallows.


**Severus and Lilly Love for Ever and Never**

(Lilly)

There he was again, that boy, with the dirty clothes and greasy hair, he was always there, watching me from behind an old oak tree and some shrubs, probably thinking I didn't see him, but I knew he was there, always. I didn't understand my strange awareness to him, but somehow, I liked him to be there, when I played with my sister Petunia, he would stare at me with those peculiar black eyes, finally I spoke to him.

It was early afternoon, he was watching me on the swings at the park as he always was, "you, why are you watching me? Are you spying?" I asked walking up to him, he shook his head, terror burning in his eyes, "then what are you doing? Why are you always here?" I tried, he just shrugged off my question, shaking his greasy hair over his shoulders, I smiled tentatively, determined to befriend him no matter what, but then he surprised me, "I know what you are" he whispered, I raised my eyebrows, "you're a witch!" he exclaimed, I burst out laughing, but then he started to explain everything, "you are, I've seen you, like when you flew off the swing, it was magic!" he whispered, "I'm a wizard!" he enthused, pride burning in his warm black eyes, "my mom's a witch and my dad's a wizard as well" he gushed, just then Tuney came over, "why are you talking to _**him**_ she asked, confusion edging her nasal voice, "you're that _Snape_ kid aren't you? I've seen you watching my sister. "She said bitterness apparent in her eyes. "_**You **_wouldn't understand _**you're a muggle**_" he muttered, "what did you call me?" Petunia yelped, "muggle" he replied, I knew she didn't know what he was talking about but took offense all the same, "Come on Lilly, we're leaving!" she grabbed my arm and dragged me off, "I'll see you?" Snape asked, his voice strained, I nodded. I wanted to see him again, he seemed nice, I didn't understand Tuney's dislike, and she'd been rude first after all.

(SNAPE)

(5 years later at Hogwarts)

She was beautiful, an angel with chestnut hair, rosy cheeks, and a voice like the tone of a bell, she had the loveliest lips I'd ever seen, and the most wonderful green eyes, her name was Lilly. I still couldn't believe she was my friend, we were best friends, we spent all our spare time together, and someday I would be able to tell her I wanted to be more then friends. Sometimes, I'd hug her or even kiss her, but only when she was sad, and only when she wanted someone to hold her. She didn't know my secret, and I knew she probably never would.

Besides she had a boyfriend, James Potter, the cocky obnoxious Gryffindor quidditch captain, with his hair as black as mine, and blue eyes. He was tall and lean and disgustingly good looking, I saw the way he and Lilly looked at each other, and I wanted her to look at me like that, but I knew she never would. Then at the time of the Yule ball, I was alone, sitting in the corner, while James spun the girl I loved around in his arm, and the worst part was when he kissed her, really kissed her, not the sympathetic brotherly pecks I gave her, and she kissed him back, that I almost cried, it hurt so much, and then I heard her whisper in his ear, "I love you James" and he smiled and I stopped listening because I knew what his answer was. And who wouldn't love her, she was sweet, and kind, and she was brilliant! And funny, and beautiful. So who wouldn't love her? But when she came over and sat with me, and gushed about how happy she was, I kept my bitter thoughts to myself, and told her "I'm glad you're having fun, you two look great together." And I _SMILED_, then she hugged me, in a sisterly way, and went back to her 'boyfriend'. I was alone, and I knew I always would be.

The next day she was telling me about how terrible my friends were, it got blown out of proportion, I was angry an do was she, then I did the stupidest thing I've done in my entire life, I called her a mud blood, and when I tried to apologize, she ran off, probably to James. And I was left with nothing, no worse, I had just lost the love of my life, _and_ the best friend I'd ever had.

(Lilly)

Severus and I haven't spoken in weeks, I miss him, but if he's going to hang around with wannabe death eaters, then I don't want anything to do with him. James told me he doesn't want me around them either, as long as I'm fighting with Sev, then I won't argue, but if he ever apologizes, seriously, and gives up those horrible, 'friends' of his, then I will take him back, he is the best friend I've ever had, like the brother I've always wanted. "Lilly?" James asked, confusion in his voice, "hello, are you there?" he asked again from the desk beside me. I nodded, "What's wrong? Are you missing Snape again?"He asked bitterly, I nodded not wanting to lie to him, he grimaced, but then put his arm around my shoulders, "I love you, and I wouldn't leave you for the world." He told me."I love you too." I answered, feeling the fear of a different answer in his gaze, he smiled relieved and nodded. I had to accept that Severus didn't want to be my friend, he had his little gang of death eaters anyway, so I decided that I would never take him back.

(SNAPE)

Just before Lilly Potter's death.

It'd been years since I'd even seen Lilly, but now her life was In danger, I knew I loved her, and always would, but now what was I going to do, "Please my lord, don't kill her, spare her, kill the boy, kill her husband, but leave Lilly Potter alive." Ii begged, though when I said her surname pain roiled in my chest, Voldemort looked at me, uncomprehending, "Why?" he asked, "I love her!" I stated, my eyes pleading him to have mercy, just once, leave just one alive. "You desire her." He corrected. "There will be others, purebloods, who deserve you, don't waste your time with this mud blood." His word was final. "Yes master" I said bowing.

"You have to save her, hide her away. Please, he dark lord is after them, I asked her to spare her, and he refused, you are my only hope. Please, please, protect her, for me. I can handle her hatred, but if she dies…" I couldn't finish. I looked into Dumbledore's clear blue eyes. "I will try, I will find them somewhere, but this could fail Severus, do not expect her to survive, very few live when the dark lord decides to hunt them," he told me, looking down at me pityingly. I nodded, and stood, and rushed back to the dark lord, knowing he wouldn't ask where I had gone, I always made my reports to Dumbledore, when he believed I was gathering information, the order always let just enough slip to convince Voldemort that I was reliable, but not enough to endanger their tactical position. I knew she would live, she had to, or would die, and I would be sure to drag Voldemort down with me.

(Lilly)

Godric's Hollow

The town Dumbledore sent us to is small, but I feel safe here, the house is perfect, and I spend the lonely days with Harry in the sunny little nursery, I love my baby more than I have ever loved anything or anyone, except perhaps James. When James was listening to news of the order or talking to Dumbledore I stayed here and protected our son.

The weeks blurred together, and despite the monotony of it, I found I was happy in this small town, I knew Voldemort could find us any second, but I still felt like it was safe. Peter Petigrew visited us often, he, Sirius, and Remus were the only ones who knew our whereabouts.


End file.
